A Wilder Sort of Life
by MerDer McAddict
Summary: Addison's begging God for forgiveness. She wants a second chance at happiness. Does she get it? Bad summary, great story! Please R&R!


Addison Wilder looked out her bedroom window, and then looked back at her sleeping husband. It was 3:45 in the morning, and she couldn't sleep. Today was her last cycle of In Vitro. This was it. She and Pete had decided that after the third round, that was it. "I'm thirty-nine years old. Am I crazy to want this so badly?" Addison wondered to herself. She suddenly felt Pete behind her. She looked at him with tears in her eyes. He put his arms around her and hugged her, and for a minute they both looked out at the waves crashing on the beach below. "Addison, this time is the charm. Lucas told me so. He told me that he was going to get a baby brother." Addison laughed. "Of course you trust the five-year-old." She leaned up and kissed her husband of three years. "Thank you." she whispered.

"Ok Addie, almost done." Dr. Naomi Bennett said as she inserted the tube-like catheter containing four fertilized eggs into Addison. "You're doing great, honey." Pete said. Addison looked up at him and squeezed his hand. She sure hoped this worked. "All done!" Now we just wait a few weeks and see if you're preg-- "I know the drill Nae. Thank you again." Addison said.

Naomi looked at her best friend. "Good luck Addie. I hope it works."

Later on in the afternoon Addison was laying down for a nap when her cell phone rang. "Dr. Addison Wilder." She answered. "Addison, hey it's Cooper." Dr. Cooper Freedman said. "What's up Coop?" Addison replied. "Charlotte and I just wanted to see how today went, and if you're okay." "I'm fine Cooper, thank you, and make sure to thank Charlotte. I just really hope it worked." "It did Addie, I just know it did." Addison smiled. She loved Cooper's child-like faith. "How's Kensli?" she asked. "Growing like a weed, she'll be seven months old tomorrow." Cooper replied about his and Charlotte's baby girl Kensli Jayde. "Well give my regards to Charlotte and I'll see you two later." "Bye Addison." "Bye."

Addison hung up the phone and stood up. She got herself a bottle of water from the fridge and stepped out onto her balcony. Sitting down, she stared once again at the waves and stepped back into her memory.

_She was thirty-three years old, and confused as hell about what she wanted in her life. She had lost Derek, no, she hadn't lost him, she had drove him away. She slept with his best friend. Not once, not twice, but several, several times. He was Mark. He said the right things, and oh God did he do the right things. So why was she sitting here in a strange doctor's office? Because she had just been told she was pregnant. "Pregnant?!" Addison yelled. "Are you sure?!" "Ma'am, we're positive. Congratulations." the nurse said. Addison jumped off the table and ran out of the door. As she sat in her car she began to hyperventilate. This can NOT be happening! I want a baby! I just want one with Derek, not Mark! He'll know the baby is Mark's, and well, I just can't do this. I have to get Derek back, and having Mark Sloan's baby is sure as hell not the way to do it." She slowly walked back into the clinic. When the nurse looked up, Addison took a deep breath and calmly said, "I'd like to schedule an abortion please." Without looking up the nurse grabbed several forms and handed them to Addison to fill out. "Your appointment is in two days. Find someone to drive you home."_

_Two days later as she lay on the cold exam table, tears ran down her face. "I'm sorry baby," she whispered, then closed her eyes. Years later, she realized she had made her decision in haste. She had hurt Mark, and Derek took pleasure in calling her Satan's Whore. He was in love with Meredith, and Mark, well Mark was pretty much just a sex toy. It just couldn't work. She yearned for a relationship, and she didn't think Mark Andrew Sloan was ready to grow up yet._

Addison snapped out of her memories at the sound of laughter on the beach. She looked down to see a husband and wife, his arms around her, and the other around her swollen stomach. The woman threw her head back and laughed as her husband dropped to his knees and talked to her stomach. Addison looked away. "Dear God, please, please do not punish me for the mistake I made. If I had known that was the only baby I was to have, I would have never, ever let go of it. I ask for forgiveness. You are raising the child I should have in my arms. Please God, let me have a baby. I've never wanted anything more in my life. I promise to be a good mother, just let this work." With that, she put her head to her knees and dissolved into tears. Pete found her asleep in the chair, and carried her to bed. He hated when she blamed herself and cried herself to sleep. It broke his heart. He loved Addison too much to see her hurt. He hoped good news would follow soon.

Today was the day. It was THE day. Addison's hands shook as she tried to open the pregnancy test boxes. She couldn't wait to go to the office. She had to do it at home. Pete stood beside her, and motioned for her to give him the box. He handed her the sticks, and kissed her. A couple minutes later she came out holding three sticks. Pete looked into her eyes and felt tears come to his. "No?" Addison fell to the bed, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't speak. "Addison, breathe honey. It's going to be okay. I'm so, so sorry sweetie." Addison shook her head, and smiled. "No, Pete, it's POSITIVE! I'm PREGNANT!" He jumped to his feet and screamed, **"IT WORKED! WE'RE PREGNANT!" **He ran to the balcony and screamed, "**ADDISON MONTGOMERY WILDER IS GOING TO HAVE MY BABY!!!" **Addison laughed, grabbing the phone. She had several people to call.

* * *

"Wow, Addison's pregnant." Derek Shepherd put the phone down and turned to his wife. "Good for her, Meredith said, rubbing her stomach. We're going to have our own baby in just a few more months." Derek kissed her, then kissed her stomach. "I'm happy for Addie. She's finally getting what she wanted. I got what I wanted; He stopped to smile at her, and Addie deserves to get what she wants." Meredith smiled. "No more Satan's Whore?" she laughed. "No, Derek said laughing. No more Satan's Whore, and no more Dirty Mistresses." Meredith threw her head back laughing.

* * *

**4 Weeks Later**

I'm excited for this first ultrasound", Pete grinned as Naomi squirted cold gel on Addison's stomach, causing her to gasp. "I bet you are, I am too, Naomi said, laughing at Addison's reaction. Red here couldn't stop grinning, all night, he added. Addison smiled at her best friend rubbed the wand over her stomach. Suddenly, the room was filled with the sound of a baby's heartbeat. Addison and Pete grinned widely. Then Addison's grin got wider as she listened. "It's twins!!!" She sat up and hugged Naomi, who was nodding and grinning. "There are definitely two babies in there, and they sound and look great!" Pete was standing beside Addison and he had tears in his eyes. Two babies? Oh Addie, we got our wish!" Addison grinned, tears flowing down her face. We're having twins!

"Oh God, not again," Addison moaned as she retched into the toilet. Pete held her hair back and waited with a wet towel. He had become immune to his wife's vomiting, considering she did it morning, noon, and night lately. Addison finished, and lay shaking on the bathroom floor. He helped her up, and kissed her sweaty forehead. "Oh Pete stop, I'm gross." she sighed. "You are gross, but I love you." "Go back to bed and I'll clean up in here." he said. "Ok, she mumbled. Pete was cleaning up the towels when he heard a thud. "Addison?!" he yelled. Running out of the bathroom, he saw Addison laying on the floor, eyes closed. "Addie, wake up!" Her eyes fluttered open. "I think I need to go to the hospital" she whispered, before her eyes closed again. Picking her up, Pete ran downstairs, knowing he could get her there faster than any ambulance.

"Addison, you're dehydrated, and anemic, that's all. We're going to start you on some iron along with your vitamins, and get an IV with some fluids going to get you hydrated. Oh, and of course some meds for the nausea and vomiting. You're going to be okay. You fainted.." "Because I was dehydrated and anemic, Addison finished." She smiled weakly at Pete. "Jesus Addison, you made me age ten years." he said. Addie rubbed her slight baby bump. "Sorry honey, she said. The babies are fine, and I'm fine."

**26 Weeks Along**

Addison woke up with a smile on her face. Today was the day that she would find out what her babies were. They were even letting Lucas stay out of school to go with them. She yawned, and got out of bed and in the shower. Pete walked into the bathroom yawning himself. "Good God Addison, I can barely walk this morning," he laughed. Addison smirked and opened the shower door. "I know you're not complaining about my horny hormones?" He shook his head. "No, no, not complaining dear." "You look amazing", he said, looking at her growing stomach. "I feel amazing too," she said. He pecked her on the cheek and went downstairs.

* * *

"Nae-Nae I'm getting two brothers!" Lucas said, grinning. Naomi looked at the little boy, who could barely sit still he was so excited. His parents weren't in much better shape. Addison couldn't quit smiling, and Pete looked ready to burst. "I don't know buddy, you might get two sisters." "Ew, no", he said, sticking his tongue out. Addison laughed and climbed up on the table. Naomi started the ultrasound. She saw one of the babies. "Come on baby, show Mommy, Daddy, & Lucas what you are!" Suddenly the baby moved, and Addison screeched. **"It's a girl!" **Pete clapped and grabbed Lucas. "A sister, buddy boy!" Lucas grinned like a kid that got underwear for Christmas. Addison looked at him and laughed. "Hold tight, Luke." Naomi moved the wand over the second, tinier baby. Pete threw Lucas into the air. **"That's your little brother!"** Pete yelled. "Yayyy!! "Thank you Mommy!" Lucas yelled. Addison grinned. It still warmed her heart that he called her Mommy, even if it made Violet less than thrilled. "You're welcome sweet boy. Now why don't you go play with Dell outside." Pete sat Lucas outside and turned back to Addison. "A son and a daughter." He kissed her on the lips. Naomi grinned and patted their hands. Both of the babies look wonderful. I'll leave you two alone." "Thanks Nae." Pete helped Addison off the table. Addison grabbed Pete's hands. "Thank you, she whispered, kissing him. He kissed her back. "No, thank you."

* * *

Addison was tired. It had been a long, happy day. Charlotte and Naomi had thrown her a surprise baby shower, and boy had it been a surprise. She walked into the room at Oceanside Wellness to see Charlotte and her daughter Kensli, Naomi, Maya, and Maya's son Parker, Sheldon's fiancée Lorie, her brother Archer and his wife Kate, and their newborn daughter Laureli Grace Montgomery. There were even some people there that she didn't know. Then, her eyes settled on something that shocked her. Meredith Grey stood talking to Callie Torres and Arizona Robins. Addison blinked. Meredith Shepherd now, was rubbing her swollen stomach and laughing at something Callie had said. "SURPRISE!!!" Everyone yelled when they saw Addison. Addison grinned widely. "You guys, you shouldn't have!" She made a beeline for Meredith, who had been joined by Dr. Miranda Bailey. Callie ran up to Addison and hugged her. "You're huge!" she laughed. Arizona stepped in and hugged Addison. "What blabbermouth means to say is you look beautiful, and congratulations." Callie laughed. "Of course Addie. You look great. I've missed you." "Thanks, Addison said laughing. She stepped over to Meredith. Meredith didn't do the whole "hug" thing, so Addison was surprised when Mer threw her arms around her. "Congratulations Addison. Derek said to tell you hello." "Thank you, Addison said. "It's really good to see you as well. When are you due?" Meredith smiled. "August 21st. It's a girl." Addison smiled. "That's wonderful! She'll be here in four weeks! I bet Derek's ecstatic." Meredith laughed. "He is. He's driving me crazy though!" "Oh, and by the way, I have gifts from Mark and Lexie, and from Alex & Izzie. They're sorry they couldn't come." "Thank you." "I've missed you guys." Both women returned to the baby shower.  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What are we going to name these babies Pete?" Addison sighed, throwing down the baby book. She rubbed her huge stomach. Her husband laughed as she tried to scratch her foot. Here, let me, he said, scratching her foot. She laughed. "That tickles!" She sat up and kissed him, and he kissed her back. "I want the names to match." "Oh no, not cutesy Brian and Brianna or something like that, ok?" "Oh Lord no." I want the names to match as in, the initials." "Well, I want the little girl's middle name to be Emily. That was my grandmother's name," Pete said. I want the little boy's middle name to be Reese, because that's my favorite name." Pete nodded. "I saw where you had scribbled that on the grocery list." Addison laughed. "How about Rheagan for the girl?" "Reagan, like Ronald Reagan?" Addison giggled. "No, we'll spell it differently. "Rheagan Emily Wilder", I like the ring of that." Pete said. "Okay now we need an "E" name to go with Reese, that way they'll match." Addison grinned. "Ethan!" "No, I don't like that, Pete said." "Evan." Addison clapped her hands. "Evan Reese Wilder!" "That's it! Our children have names!" Pete leaned forward and kissed Addison, and they collapsed together in bed.

Addison was fed up with bed rest. She could barely breath, she felt like she was suffocating in her bedroom. She sighed, muting the television. There was only so much **_Complications _**she could take in one day. She picked up the little pink piece of paper that had come in the mail yesterday. She smiled, looking at the tiny baby on the front of it. The card read,

_**Derek and Meredith Shepherd welcomed their little girl, **_

_**Maycie Claire Shepherd**_

_**into the world on August 16th. She weighed 7lbs 11 oz. & was 21 inches long. **_

Addison couldn't wait to send out her own birth announcements. She still had five weeks to go though. She stepped out of bed when all of a sudden a pain hit her that put her back on the bed. She grabbed her stomach gasping. What the hell was that? She wondered. She sat there breathing slowly. Wham! It happened again. Grabbing the phone, she called Pete and told him she was headed to Oceanside Medical Center. "Why?!" he asked worriedly. "I think I'm going into preterm labor." She gasped as another pain rocked her small frame. "Oh my God Pete, it's too early." "You're going to be fine Addie, just breathe and I'll be there in five minutes." Pete Wilder slammed the phone down and jumped in his car. Breaking the speed limit, he got to his house just as his wife struggled out the front door. He got her in the car and they rushed to the hospital.

Naomi and Dell met them at the doors, and they rushed Addison onto a gurney and into a room. "Addie, let me check you." Dell said. Addison screamed out as Dell stuck his hand into her writhing body. "Please, dear God, get me an epidural!" she cried. Pete held her hand and stroked her long red hair. "Dr. Bennett, her blood pressure is 170/90", a nurse said. "Addison, you've got to calm down if you want to do this the easy way, Naomi said. You're early, but a c-section could be more stressful on your body." "She's 6 centimeters, 50% effaced." Dell said. "Ok, let's get you into a labor room, and get an epidural."

Pete looked at Addison's red, sweaty face. She was in so much pain. Finally, the anesthesiologist, whose name he thought might be Jason, strolled into the room with his equipment. "Sorry it took me a few minutes to get here Dr. Wilder, he said. Are you ready?" "Addison moaned and nodded. Pete took her head into his hands and gripped her shoulders. She gasped as the needle went into her back, gripping his arms. When it was over, she sighed in relief. "I've delivered many, many babies in my life. Now I understand everything completely." He wiped the leftover tears from her eyes and kissed her. "You're doing fine Addison. "What about our babies? I'm only 35 weeks." "I'm sure they'll be okay."

**-----4 hours later-----**

Addison was terrified. This was it, she was about to meet her babies, her eager beaver babies. Dell had just told her she was ten centimeters and 100% effaced. Pete was grinning, and Naomi looked stern, her famous look for when she was worried. They had moved her to an OR for delivery just in case. A team of her follow NICU doctors and nurses were ready. Pete pulled one of her legs back to her chest, and Naomi grabbed the other. "Ok Addie, next contraction, push!" Addison grabbed a breath and pushed as hard as she could. "Keep pushing," Pete said, counting to ten. Addison cried out in pain. "You're doing great Addie!" Pete could barely believe his eyes as he saw a head emerge. "One of them is crowning Addison, so I need you to slow down your pushing." Dell said. Addison panted, sweat rolling off her forehead. "Oh my God, please, please come out baby, she said. "OW!" she cried as her tiny baby daughter slipped out. "It's a girl!" Dell yelled. Pete and Addison held their breath as they waited for their daughter's first cries. After a few shaky minutes, a tiny scream sounded. "She's okay, just got to give her a little oxygen! APGAR is an 8!" "Oh God, Addison screeched as another contraction hit her. "Push again Addie! Push!" Addison pushed for another ten minutes before her son emerged. "There's your little boy," Naomi cried. Addison let the tears flow freely as her little boy screamed. "APGAR is 9, just a little more oxygen!" Addison smiled, and closed her eyes. She suddenly felt very strange. Naomi's eyes flew to the monitors. "Her pressure's dropping!" "Heart rate is 85!" a nurse said. "Dammit, she's bleeding," Dell said. "Addison! Addison wake up honey!" Pete screamed. "Get him out of here! The head OB/GYN Dr. Jenkins yelled. "She's bleeding out, we're going to have to open her up and fix the hemorrhaging."

Pete Wilder stood staring at his children in the NICU incubators. Rheagan weighed 3lbs and 7 ounces, and was 18 inches long. Evan weighed 4lbs 10 ounces and was 19 ½ inches long. Rheagan was on oxygen, and she wasn't accepting any formula. She was not in the best shape. Her brother, besides not being quite five pounds, seemed to be fine. He left the nursery. Dell, Naomi, Sam, Charlotte, and Cooper sat out in the waiting room. Pete began pacing. "Pete, you're going to wear a whole in the carpet," Charlotte said. "Sit down." "I can't! That's my wife in there, and I can't do anything for her. My daughter's sick, and we don't know how sick yet." He broke down. "I'm scared." Naomi got up and put her arms around Pete. "All of us are going to be fine, just believe." The OR doors swung open, and Dr. Jenkins walked out. "Addison is stable, but we had to do a hysterectomy. I just couldn't get her uterus to stop bleeding. It looks like when the last placenta detached it started bleeding and like I said, just wouldn't stop. Addison should make a complete recovery, but at thirty-nine, these are her last children." "Can I see her?" Pete asked. The doctor nodded and pointed into a recovery room. "Only you for now. She'll wake up soon, then others can go in." Pete shook his hand and went to Addison.

Tears filled his eyes as he saw her. She lay in bed, her beautiful red hair plastered to her head with dried sweat. Her eyes were closed but she was groaning softly. "Adds, baby, I'm here," he whispered. Addison's eyes fluttered open. "What happened?" her voice broke as she spoke. "Please, tell me the babies are alright." Pete took a breath and held her hand. "You started hemorrhaging. Jenkins had to do a hysterectomy." Tears ran down her cheeks. "But you're okay Addie! That's what matters!" Pete kissed her cheek. "Are you in pain?" Addison nodded. "How are Rheagan and Evan? You still haven't answered me." "Evan's fine. Rheagan on the other hand is not so great, but she's a fighter. She just needs to let her lungs mature a bit, and we have to jumpstart her digestive system. Please just rest Adds. You can see them later." Addison nodded, more tears running down her face, and she closed her eyes.

The NICU nurse saw Pete standing at the window and rushed out. "Rheagan has began to take formula! Even if it is through a nasogastric tube, she's still taking food. Her lungs have also started responding to the steroids, and we took her off the vent and just have her on regular oxygen." Pete smiled. Things were beginning to look up. He walked to Addison's room. Her face looked alarmed when he ran in. "What?!" she yelled. "Rheagan's eating and breathing better!" Addison fell back against the pillows and winced, then grinned. "I want to see them." Pete nodded and helped her up, settling her onto the pillows in the wheelchair. He wheeled her to the nursery where they first visited with Evan, who was asleep in his bassinet. Addison kissed his sweet smelling head. "Mommy loves you baby boy," she whispered. They stayed a few more minutes and then headed to visit Rheagan. After putting on the required gear, Addison was handed her little girl for the first time. Tears ran down her face as she saw her little girl's green eyes and red peach fuzz of hair. "She's a mini-Addie", Pete said, smiling. He ran his fingers down Addison's hair. "She's beautiful, just like her mommy."

"I love you," she replied. "I love you too." he said.

----------

Two and a half weeks later Rheagan was ready to come home. Addison, who was finally feeling a little better, walked down the hallway to her daughter's nursery and grabbed the precious "going home" outfit for her baby. She heard Lucas singing to a fussy Evan downstairs. It put a smile on her face. Her perfect little family was about to be complete. At first she had been upset about the hysterectomy, but she got over it quickly. She had all she ever wanted.

* * *

Derek walked back into the living room with the mail. Meredith was sitting on the couch feeding Maycie. "Anything worth opening?" she laughed. Derek nodded and opened an envelope. He smiled and read:

_**Pete and Addison Wilder announce the birth of their twins,**_

_**Rheagan Emily Wilder**__**, 3lbs 7oz, 18 inches long,**__**Evan Reese Wilder**__**, 4lbs 10oz, 19 ½ inches long. **_

&

_**They join a brother, Lucas, 5. **_

Meredith snatched it from his hands as he reached for Maycie. "They are so cute!" she exclaimed. "Not as cute as Maycie", Derek chuckled. "Derek!" Meredith laughed, grinning. Derek winked at her and kissed his daughter's forehead. Meredith sighed, putting the announcement on the counter. She leaned down and kissed Derek. "I love you Dr. Shepherd." He smiled. "I love you too Dr. Shepherd." They looked down at Maycie, who was asleep. "We love you Maycie!" they both said, smiling.

* * *

Addison lay in her bed, Pete beside her. Lucas was asleep at the foot of the bed. He was so adorable, he wouldn't let the twins out of his sight. Pete looked at Addison and grinned. She looked down at Rheagan who was nursing, and Evan lay on Pete's chest, fast asleep after eating and being burped. She smiled, and wiped at her eyes. "Why are you crying Adds?" Pete asked, concerned. "I'm just so damn happy", she laughed. Pete kissed her hand. "I'm glad, because I couldn't be happier either." "Thank you, she whispered. "For what?" "For not giving up on me, or my dreams. I love you." "I love you too." Addison looked upward. "Thank you God, for giving me my second chance." she whispered. With that, she burped her daughter, and settled down for the evening. _**Addison Montgomery Wilder had finally gotten what she wanted**_.

-----HOPE YOU LIKED IT! I KNOW IT'S LONG, AND I COULD HAVE SPLIT IT UP INTO CHAPTERS, BUT LAST TIME IT WAS A PAIN IN THE BUTT TO DO THAT! PLEASE R&R!!! :]


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